Here’s the usual breakdown of achieving what might be considered “social outgoing” for many college students:
8:00 PM: Grab the first beer or cocktail from the fridge.
9:30 PM: The “Pregame” begins! Beer pong, beer funnels, card games. Whatever the competition is, someone the loser (or the winner) ends up drinking. Social Confidence here we come!
11:00 PM: The actual party gets cranking. At this point, everyone is “feeling warm” and comfortable enough to approach mostly anyone in the party. People are dancing and finding their hookup for the night.
1:30 PM: Ripping late night shots until blackout, makeout, or pass out.
I’ve been there. I was in college drinking like the rest, and I wondered why I couldn’t get a girlfriend. I was always a drunken slob! I now realize that being drunk is NOT being socially free! People are not their true self, they are just temporarily outgoing. This is a big difference.
Binge drinking generally guarantees that you will not have the highest quality relationships in your life. But I never knew that, and I never knew that there were other ways to becoming socially free.
And here’s the most interesting part about all of this: I still sometimes drink when I socialize. The only difference is that I don’t NEED to drink to socialize.
Many of my social confidence workshops provide students with an alternative to drinking. There are techniques and strategies you can use to get into a highly empowered socially free mindset without relying on alcohol.
Instead of telling students “Don’t drink, it’s dangerous”, I help them realize that there is another way to socializing and romanticizing in college without all the booze. This is my job as a college speaker to spread the word of social confidence.